How to Talk to Your Kids About Social Media Algorithms

Social media platforms can seem like they are designed to keep our kids hooked. You’ve probably felt this same pull if you’ve accidentally spent a few hours scrolling through recommended content on TikTok or Instagram. In part, these networks are so compelling because of features like infinite scrolling and notifications — they gamify the experience and make users want to stick around. 

But on a lot of networks, a big part of the appeal comes from social media algorithms: the complex set of rules and calculations platforms use to prioritize the content users see in their feeds. 

These algorithms can help kids find entertaining and interesting content. However, they can also expose kids to material they’re not ready to handle on their own, like misinformation, violent and explicit videos, and posts that promote eating disorders or negative self-image. As a parent, it’s important to understand what social media algorithms are, how they work, and how to talk to your children about them.

How social media algorithms work

Your social media algorithm is why your social media feed looks a lot different than your friend’s or spouse’s. Every social network uses its own mix of factors to determine what you see on your feed. Generally, it’s shaped by some of the following data points:

• Who you follow
• Who you share content with
• The posts and videos you engage with
• How much time you spend watching certain videos 
• How much time you linger on specific content when scrolling
• The popularity of a post or video

Social media companies invest a lot of time and money in perfecting their algorithms because they keep people on their platforms. Their business models depend on maximizing engagement, which means maximizing time spent on the platform. If your social media feed shows you a steady stream of interesting videos that you’re likely to watch, you’ll spend more time on the app. And the more time you spend on the app, the more data companies can gather. 

That data matters because social media companies generate revenue through targeted ads. It’s similar to the way companies will buy airtime for commercials on TV, but on social media, they can tailor their commercials to appear to hyper-specific audiences, like people who live in certain regions and have specific interests.

Why algorithms are problematic for kids

As kids grow and develop, they’re more likely to be impulsive and sensation-seeking. The area of the brain that regulates behavior, the prefrontal cortex, is not anywhere close to being fully developed in early adolescence. Social media platforms  can encourage impulsive behaviors — your child may feel compelled to check their notifications, post, and spend hours scrolling their feeds. 

Add in algorithmic recommendations that are specifically tailored to your child’s interests, and you have a recipe for a kid who struggles to put down their phone. That’s an issue because excessive social media use is associated with issues ranging from sleep disturbances and depression to anxiety and negative self-image. 

Since algorithms show users more of what they seem to like, your child’s feed could become overwhelmed with negative content. Here’s an example: your child is really interested in Fortnite because all of his friends play the game. He follows a few Fortnite accounts on social media , and the platform starts recommending more Fortnite-related videos from accounts he doesn’t yet follow. One of those accounts begins sharing playthroughs of violent video games, and your child watches them out of curiosity. Eventually, their algorithm begins recommending related material, and your child may see a steady stream of explicit content before they’re ready to handle it on their own. 

A similar pattern can happen if your child engages with content that promotes disordered eating behaviors, drug content, negative self-talk, and more. It’s an easy experiment to run on your own account if you want to see how quickly the algorithms can latch on to a negative subject and overwhelm your feed.

Tips for parents 

Algorithms are definitely something to monitor, but the good news is that parents can take an active role in minimizing their effects on their children. 

Here are some tips:

• Communicate often: Talk to your kids about how algorithms work and what they should do if an account or post they see makes them feel bad. Regularly sit down and go through their social feeds together, talking about who they follow and what their algorithm recommends. You can also “reset” your child’s algorithm by helping them unfollow certain accounts and engaging with other, more appropriate topics.
• Use child protections: Some platforms, such as Instagram and Pinterest, have extra safety settings and parental controls for minors. You can also use a child safety app, such as BrightCanary, to supervise their online activity and get alerts if they encounter something concerning. 

Implement screen time limits: One of the best ways to minimize the harmful effects of social media is to limit how much time your child spends on it. Create a plan with your child to limit social media, such as 30 minutes a day. Implement screen-free zones around the home to help reinforce tech boundaries, like “no screens an hour before bedtime.”