When Visibility Isn’t Safe: Helping Trans Youth Navigate Online Experiences

In today's interconnected world, the Internet serves as both a sanctuary and a landmine for trans and nonbinary young people. YouTube, Reddit, social media, and other online platforms offer spaces for exploring one’s gender, self-expression, community-building, and access to vital gender-affirming information. However, these spaces can be dangerous, bringing challenges such as cyberbullying, exposure to harmful content, misinformation, and privacy concerns. Understanding these dynamics is crucial for parents and allies aiming to support trans youth effectively both online and offline.

As the Executive Director of a nonprofit that serves trans and nonbinary young people across the country and a parent to a transfemme 11-year-old, I see firsthand the ways in which caregivers underestimate how much online spaces can be a lifeline. For trans and gender-diverse young people who are isolated, aren’t ready to share their gender journey with others, or who don’t feel safe where they live due to anti-trans legislation, the Internet can often feel like a safer place to explore their identities, connect with peers, and access resources that might be scarce IRL (in real life). Studies show that more than 50% of LGBTQ+ youth who are not out to peers in person turn to the Internet to connect with other LGBTQ+ individuals.

Despite the benefits, online engagement can be incredibly risky in ways that youth often do not understand. One in four LGBTQ+ youth (26%) are bullied online specifically because of their sexual orientation or gender expression, which can lead to increased anxiety and depression. Both misinformation and disinformation about transition, gender-affirming care, and hormone-replacement therapy (HRT) are rampant. Even too much information at one time, or age-inappropriate information, can be harmful. For example, I recently heard that a young teen had been ordering HRT online from another country without their parents’ knowledge. I share this not to scare caregivers, but to help you to be aware and to encourage you to take seriously your child’s gender-related needs, concerns, and desires. Without parental support, many find unsafe ways of meeting their needs. 

Supporting trans and nonbinary youth online requires a multifaceted approach that necessitates education, deep listening, and proactive engagement. Here are my top strategies for parents, caregivers and allies:

• Open and Affirming Communication: When a child shares their gender identity, it's vital to listen without judgment. Express unconditional love and acknowledge their courage in sharing. Thank your child for trusting you and assure them of your support, even if you don't have all the answers immediately.

• Educate Yourself and Others: Familiarize yourself with trans issues, terminology, and experiences. Resources like the Human Rights Campaign offer comprehensive guides on supporting trans and nonbinary children.

• Monitor and Discuss Online Activity: Engage in open dialogues about online experiences while also respecting their privacy. Identify and name your concerns. Discuss the potential risks and benefits of any online platforms that your child wants to use. Research parental control/safety apps that can assist caregivers in monitoring their child's online behavior to protect them.

• Encourage Safe Online Practices: Teach your child about digital literacy, privacy settings, and the importance of critical thinking when engaging with online content. 

• Connect with Supportive Communities: Facilitate connections with trans organizations and peer groups. For example, Trans Mentor Project, run by the organization that I work for, pairs young trans/nonbinary folks from across the country with trained trans/nonbinary mentors on a secure and monitored platform. This platform works like social media, only much safer, and allows them to connect virtually with peers, build community, and feel a deep sense of belonging. It also provides them with research-backed resources so that they don’t have to seek out information from unvetted sources. Local LGBTQ+ centers can also provide in-person resources and support; find one near you through CenterLink.

• Lead by Example: Demonstrate inclusive language and behavior both online and offline. Your actions set a precedent for your child and those around you. Learn more from the Family Online Safety Institute about how to be a good digital role model.

Safe, supportive virtual spaces can have a life-altering effect on a young person’s well-being. According to The Trevor Project’s 2024 National Survey, trans and nonbinary youth who had access to affirming spaces—including online communities—were significantly less likely to attempt suicide. By fostering open communication, educating themselves, monitoring online activity with care, encouraging safe Internet practices, and connecting trans youth with affirming communities, caregivers can help shape a world where all young people feel valued and seen. Every act of affirmation—a listening ear, a thoughtful conversation, a safe space online or offline—sends a clear message: You are loved. You are supported. You belong.

Now, more than ever, trans youth need community, both in their everyday lives and in the digital spaces where they seek connection. By stepping up with compassion and action, we can ensure that every trans young person has the opportunity to thrive—both online and in the world around them.