3 Ways to Support Your Child After Experiencing Cyberbullying

Finding out your child has been cyberbullied can be upsetting and confusing for many families. FOSI research has found that both parents and children consistently rank cyberbullying among their top online safety concerns. Beyond the immediate emotional impact, cyberbullying has been linked to lower self-esteem, anger, frustration, academic challenges, and other negative outcomes for young people.

Parents are right to take cyberbullying seriously, but what can families do after online harm occurs?  Like traditional bullying, parents cannot necessarily control how their children experience social environments, but a supportive home can help children safely recover and even learn from their cyberbullying experience. Consider these strategies when supporting your child after cyberbullying.

Empower Your Child’s Decision Making

Oftentimes, cyberbullying victims blame themselves for the harm. Particularly damaging elements of cyberbullying, like the ability for bullies to stay anonymous and post from anywhere in the world, may also cause children to feel powerless to their bullies. It’s important to encourage your child’s decision making so they can begin to rebuild a sense of control. It can remind them, “wait, I do get to have a say!” and “I can make good choices!”

Parents can subtly work this goal into everyday communication with their children. Some strategies include:

• Ask your child if they’d like to engage in simple activities, like going for a walk, setting the table, or watching a movie. 
• Acknowledge when your child makes good choices, like studying for a test, helping family members, or even putting on their coat before they leave the house.
• If accessible  to your family, ask your child what they’d like to eat for dinner rather than assigning a meal. 

While these actions may feel small, they can have a big impact on your child’s self-image during a challenging time.

Empowered decision making also impacts how your family reacts to the cyberbullying. It is understandable to want to take devices away immediately, especially if you are trying to protect your child from further harm. However, if this is done without conversation, children may feel punished for being bullied and even more powerless. 

Have conversations with your child so they know what resources are available to them both on- and offline. Potential options include reporting profiles to the social media platform, temporarily deactivating your child’s account, and informing your child’s school. You should also have conversations about when your child wants to return to the online platform, if at all. This strategy isn’t about blindly agreeing to what your child wants, but allowing them to have a say in the decision making process and understand your reasoning if you disagree.

Find Offline Spaces for Socialization and Community

It’s important for young people to feel a sense of belonging. Many adolescents find this online, but when online environments cause harm, children may need space to regroup. This does not mean all online relationships are bad or that your child should be cut off from the internet entirely. It simply means they may benefit from additional space where they can feel seen, supported, and safe.

• Start small. Include your child in day-to-day errands like going to the grocery store to see other people and briefly socialize. This sense of normalcy is important to young people after online harm.
• Offer to connect your child with a supportive friend or mentor. Try not to force these interactions, as it may take away from empowered decision making.
• See what free youth groups or activities may be available through local organizations like the library. There may even be specialty groups for LGBTQ+ or neurodivergent youth.
• Try volunteering. Giving back can help your child feel a greater sense of community and create something positive out of an otherwise difficult experience.
• If accessible to your family, sign your child up for an activity they’re interested in, like a dance class, basketball team, or writing workshop.

By finding an offline community, your child can begin to heal from their online experiences.

Help Your Child Regain Confidence

Hurtful comments, exclusion,and rumors can affect how children see themselves. Cyberbullying can cause embarrassment or impact your child’s self worth. After cyberbullying, children may need reminders that they are loved and capable. Try these strategies to guide your child in rebuilding their confidence:

• Encourage activities where your child can find small wins. This could be practicing a hobby, making art, cooking something simple, or playing a sport. These experiences can remind them of their skills and talents. 
• If your child is interested, try involving family and friends in their activities. For example, if your child likes music, encourage them to perform a piece of music for trusted friends and family. If your child participates in sports, see if they’d like a close family member to attend an upcoming match.
• Celebrate your child’s accomplishments, even the small ones. It can be very meaningful to hear simple praise, like “you did a great job cleaning your room” or “thanks for being so kind to your brother today.” Praise can also be tied to how they are handling their cyberbullying experience. In the days that follow, it can be helpful to hear “I know going to school this week was hard and I’m really proud of you.”

Simple encouragement can go a long way for helping young people reestablish their sense of self after negative social experiences.

Cyberbullying can cause both parents and children to feel isolated and powerless. While we may not be able to undo the harm, we can decide how we react to it. As families, we have the ability to involve children in decisions, cultivate positive relationships, and rebuild their self-esteem. These small steps can bring families one step closer to feeling confident and capable both on- and offline.