Tech/Life Balance: Helping Families Thrive in a Digital World

As a mother of four, each headline I read about the toll of today’s rapidly advancing technologies on our children’s mental health cuts deep. This isn't a new issue, and it's not one any parent or caregiver faces alone. Shortly after becoming First Partner of California, I co-founded the California Partners Project, in part, to support children's mental and physical health and equip families with the tools to help children thrive. Through our conversations with parents over the years, a recurring theme has risen to the top: children are struggling with online overuse and mental health, and parents need more resources to help them thrive.

"I can't get my son to do anything healthier than watching videos online. It affects the way we communicate, and it’s created a disconnect in our family dynamic."

"My kids are antisocial. All they want to do is stay home surrounded by technology. They're not going to parties, not going to the park, not going anywhere."

"My kid can't take their eyes off their phone. It's like they're in a trance."

Introducing Tech/Life Balance Resources

In support of our mission to help families thrive, the California Partners Project recently launched a new set of family resources: Tech/Life Balance: Helping Families Thrive in a Digital World.

This four-part series examines the impact of digital media and technology on four pillars of child well-being: social-emotional health, exercise and outdoor access, nutrition, and sleep. Each report and companion family guide combines research, expert insights, and reflections from California parents and caregivers. These resources offer practical strategies to strengthen family dynamics and support parents and children in finding balance in our hyper-connected, on-demand world.

Leading the Way in Children's Online Safety

In California, we are leading the way in children's online safety with forward-thinking legislation and policies like the California Age Appropriate Design Code, the Protecting Our Kids from Social Media Addiction Act, and the newly passed Phone-Free Schools Act. The Protecting Our Kids from Social Media Addiction Act, signed by Governor Newsom this year, prohibits online platforms from knowingly providing addictive feeds to minors without parental consent and restricts notifications during school hours and late at night. The Phone-Free Schools Act further reinforces our commitment by limiting smartphone use during school hours, allowing students to focus on learning without unnecessary distractions.

However, legislation is not a cure-all and regulation takes time. That's why it's crucial for parents to have practical resources now that help them create better-balanced lives immediately.

Navigating the Digital Age: Practical Tools for Parents

We talked to dozens of parents and experts about navigating the 21st-century parenting challenges that digital technology presents. The good news is that our findings point to an age-old solution to most family problems: the quality of our communication and connection with our child can mitigate the potential risks and harms of the online world. In our Family Guide, we break this down into three useful tools:‍

1. Pinpoint the Issue: Before addressing screen media use, it's crucial to clarify parental concerns to create a focused approach. Use questions to help identify key issues like cyberbullying, exposure to harmful content, family conflict, loss of in-person connections, and resilience in coping with stress.‍

2. Connect With One's Child: Building a strong bond with our children is about being present and engaged in meaningful conversations. Learn how to tailor discussions based on age, using real-life experiences to spark dialogue and listen without judgment. Age-appropriate conversation starters can help navigate tricky or sensitive topics, ensuring children feel heard and valued. ‍

3. Reflect on One's Habits: While technology is essential for many aspects of life, as parents, we play a crucial role in shaping our children’s relationship with technology through our own behavior. Reflecting on personal tech use can help minimize "technoference" and create tech-free, present moments within the family. Modeling mindful tech habits can promote emotional well-being and encourage a more harmonious household. 

Embracing Self-Compassion as Parents

I know firsthand that parenting and raising kids in a digital world is incredibly challenging, and it’s important to remember to have self-compassion. Even as we try to avoid it, technology has become a necessary part of life, including in parenting. Whether we’re working, scheduling for the family, or communicating about our kids’ sports and activities– parents are juggling tech demands, too. We are all learning as we go, and it’s okay to make mistakes. What matters is our commitment to trying new practices and continuously striving for balance. So please take a moment for yourself, acknowledge the hard work you’re doing, and know that you’re not alone. Dive into the California Partners Project’s new Tech/Life Balance series and explore the Social-Emotional Health Report and Family Guide to discover more actionable strategies and expert insights at CalPartnersProject.org/TechLifeBalance/SocialEmotionalHealth.